I’m right there with ya. There’s always a “reason” – never reasonable – I keep my feelings to myself. “Don’t want to bother someone else with my problems.” “They wouldn’t care.” “I’m just not getting enough sleep.” And the dumbest: “At this rate I’ll have to go on meds, and that would be expensive.” What am I thinking???

Wish I had some way of coping to share with you; but between the journal and the group, sounds like you’re a couple steps ahead of me! Seriously, thanks for writing this on your blog. It’s great for the rest of us (without the techno-savvy to make a blog) to read and share similar stories.

I can relate to anxiety and also depression (I was depress in my teens), I didn’t experienced being loved and to love others, well my classmates didn’t want me around. I was in Fundamental, gay, deaf of both ears, lonely, so I became bottled up too. In my family we didn’t gave each others hugs, we didn’t express our emotions. Then outside the family (at school, workplace etc.) it was a cold superficial world in which emotions were not expressed. It was definitively a depressing world, and I felt treated like a criminal for many years. After trying so much making friends and it didn’t work, I just didn’t bother. I became cynical, I didn’t care about others anymore.

On a spiritual level, Jesus love can’t be bottled up. We have to let it out. And I began to see a connection with how people have treated me, and how this then affected my spiritual relationship with Jesus. But I’m lucky, Jesus is Great, Good and Generous. He understand our wounds, the many wounds.

I realized that healing was more a spiritual help, despite my problems, I knew only myself could help myself with Jesus. It’s hard to explain, I’m better today, but I have to learn to stop feeling like a criminal. This is certainly a wound from the past, I was segregated at school for years, by teachers, by classmates, by my sisters, so obviously that has affected me.

What I can say, is that Jesus has the power to heal us. I have experienced it at Mass, at confession and in saying the Rosary, and know that I pray for you as always, don’t be too hard on yourself, know that you have me as a friend, and know that Jesus is there for you too, everyday.