Thank you for sharing your prayer. I understand how difficult it can be to have faith and live in a world that is can seem so cold. But I have found that within God there is peace. I don’t think God hates people that are gay. I think there are things that He dislikes that gay and straight people alike do. I have tried to focus on what God says we can do, not what He says we can not do.

On my part it seemed that, for a while, the individuals with whom I’ve been in regular contact had suddenly distanced themselves, and I was reluctant to try to keep reaching out over concern that I myself would come across as whiny and a nuisance. My mom was probably right when she once described me as the type of personality that prefers to keep things bottled up inside in order to not bother anyone else.

The things that have been weighing on my mind since before Thanksgiving are probably the reason why I’ve been waking up at 2 or 3 am just about every night the past few weeks. While I don’t feel at liberty to share the details (especially seeing how you have enough on your plate as it is, Joe), it’s certainly not bad news; still, it’s been enough to leave me reassessing my future. But perhaps one good result of my insomnia is that it’s become my opportunity to pray to God repeatedly in the darkness and silence, asking Him in a type of ongoing novena to guide my steps, to help me see my goals fulfilled or at least clarified.

I’ve even continually dared ask two particular saints up in the heavenly realm to fervently intercede on behalf of those concerns and petitions of mine. Perhaps I’ll be seeing those prayers answered gradually, because now that I think about it, I was surprised to find one friend of mine, whom I’d not spoken with for some time, inviting me over. That ended up being my chance to let him know some of the ideas I’ve been mulling over as to what vocational and geographical changes may yet occur in my life.

Please know that when I visited a church out of town just this third week of Advent, I inwardly offered up the Mass for your sake, Joe, that our God would yet extend its graces and fruits to you. I wasn’t sure how exactly to pray on your behalf, but it was my belief (and still is) that God could certainly make up for my deficiencies, since He would know far better that I do what you’ve been most in need of at this point in your life.

Suicide is NOT an unforgivable sin. It is a result of mental conditions that can be solved if treated before the person despairs and ends it. So if you feel like killing yourself GET HELP.

One who has been there.

Keep the blog going! This is a topic many people are struggling with, especially since both pride parades and the Catholic Church seem to be often in the public eye these days, however absolutely no one is free from sin and, straight, gay, or somewhere in between, everyone has a cross to bear. May I suggest the Courage Catholic Apostolate for you to look in to? Here’s the website:
http://couragerc.net/