It has been a while since I have wrote anything really person on my blog. This was something I noticed the other day. It almost seems to me that I forgot one of the main reasons I started blogging which was to help me with expressing myself better. If you were to meet me in person, you would see how difficult it is for me to deal with feelings. I don’t show them very often. I have gotten better at it than I used too. For example, a friend stopped by today to get a CD of music for her aunt’s funeral. She noticed I had the bank (Captain America) she got me for Christmas sitting on my dresser. She said “My mom said she never seen you express that much emotions before, he must have really liked the bank”. It is true that I am a big fan of Captain America, it is also true that I really don’t show my emotions. It isn’t that I don’t feel them; it’s just that I don’t allow them to come out.
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Posts Tagged ‘friend’
Anxiety and Depression Group – Part 1
Saturday, January 23rd, 2010Spilled Milk
Saturday, November 14th, 2009So I sit here waiting for a friend to get a hold of me to see if we are going out tonight. She asked me a few days ago if I wanted to go because she is lives in another city (she lives in another state) and I told her to get a hold of me if she was free. I guess she must not be free seeing its 10 pm now. I guess it is just another lonely Saturday night for me.
Anyways, I have not wrote anything for a few weeks now and figured this is as good as any time to write something. Recently I decided to stop going to sites like gay.com because there really is not anything there for me, or at least that is what it seems like. Most sites that identify themselves as being geared towards the gay population seem to be more sexual than many other sites. Has anyone else noticed this? How many gay sites have you been to that do not focus on sex? It does not seem like there are many out there.
So far, I have been doing well at not going to these sites. It has been about a week. The reason I go to gay.com and other sites primarily is for social reasons. I do not really have many gay friends and hang out with others whom are gay maybe 2 times a month. One is always Courage and once in a while I will hang out with someone I meet online. It just seems for some reason that there is a part of me that wants or maybe it is I need to relate to others whom are gay. Whatever the reason is, I just do not seem to meet quality people online very often and it is even rarer for them to live close enough for me to hang out with them. Don’t get me wrong, I have meet a few nice people in person that I first meet online, but it seems to be a rare thing.
I know this posting is not very positive, but today I am just feeling very lonely. I am sure part of it is that I was looking forward to spending time with my friend. Oh well, I guess it doesn’t really do any good to cry over spilled milk.
I do try to focus on the positives, so here are a few things that I consider to positives things going on in my life. Luke 18:1 is coming along nicely. I really only have to create the login and sign up pages. After that, I am going to redesign my business website. I just do not think it is doing the job or attracting new customers. I am also going to be working on a new website with a friend from Australia. I do not really want to discuss the details of that website yet, but I think it has the potential of being a very successful site.
Other than that, there really is not much going on in my life. I will try to come up with something to post on here again soon. Until then, I hope you have a great day!
